Our Funny Cousins From Across the Sea

Sunday 15/3/09:
Hey, bloody hell, how are you?!! I thought you'd emigrated, oh I see.............
I'm good thanks, I'm just sitting in sunny Cyprus, been here for a couple of weeks, what?.......no it's work, really missed Ruthless and Oli while I've been away but I'm coming home today, can't wait, Oli seems to have changed so much while I've been gone, I don't think I'll be doing this again for a while or ever for that matter.
Anyway I was just thinking
What's caffiene free coke all about? I mean isn't it just a bit like alcohol free beer (i.e. a bit pointless) surely the whole point of drinking coke (I may I just add coffee) is to get a bit of slap in the face with bucket full of ice cold water, or to get a serious buzz that has you living on the very edge of your nerves for the rest of the day? sure it makes your hands shake a little but really come on! In the same catagory I would also have to place meat free sausages, I know there will be people saying it's the idea of the animal being killed, but come on; why call it a sausage? it should be called a quorn finger or something.....
And another thing.........
I went out last night just for a couple of beers (containing alcohol) and was sitting in the bar with a couple of friends (Hi Des, Hi Trishia) and some Americans, I kid you not I cannot remember ever earwigging a conversation of such amusment and utter wonder in my entire time on this often wonderous and bizarre planet........I thought we were in the prescence of three aliens, they were going on about being given coins, one guy said "I have nine coins in total, but I have never had to buy one before this deployment", "this time I have had to buy one man" Well Des looked at me, I looked at Trishia, Trishia looked at Des, Des looked back at me............(you get the idea) what utter mumbo jumbo who goes around buying coins? (apart from those people who collect coronation, and royal wedding ones).
I can't really recall much of their conversation after that as A) they seem although to use same or similar words as us brits, they seem to put them in such a fashion that they don't make much sense.........and B) because I was tired and bored.
Hey listen I've just remembered I need to go and do something........What?.......maybe you'd be better off not knowing, see you later, we'll catch up more then.